How to Elope: Your Guide to a Romantic Getaway Wedding

Feeling overwhelmed by the thought of a huge, traditional wedding? The average cost of a wedding in the United States now exceeds $30,000, and that figure doesn’t even include the stress of planning, family dynamics, and guest list drama. For many couples, a more intimate, personal, and adventurous option is beckoning: eloping. Choosing to elope isn’t about running away from love; it’s about running toward a meaningful commitment crafted entirely on your terms.

Eloping allows you to focus on what truly matters – your relationship and the vows you’re making to each other. You get to skip the endless seating charts, the opinions of distant relatives, and the financial pressures that often overshadow the joy of getting married. Whether you dream of exchanging vows on a mountaintop, a secluded beach, or in a charming European city, eloping provides the freedom to create a uniquely unforgettable experience. But how do you actually plan an elopement? What are the legalities, the ethical considerations, and the best ways to make it special?

Frequently Asked Questions About Eloping

What legal requirements are there for eloping in different states?

Eloping, despite its image of spontaneity, still requires adherence to state marriage laws. Generally, this involves obtaining a marriage license, observing a waiting period (which varies by state), having an authorized officiant perform the ceremony, and ensuring that at least one or two witnesses are present (depending on the state’s specific requirements) to sign the marriage license. These requirements, especially waiting periods and witness stipulations, are state-specific and must be fulfilled to ensure the marriage is legally recognized.

Eloping doesn’t exempt you from obtaining a marriage license. Each state sets its own criteria for obtaining a license, including age restrictions (usually requiring parental consent for those under 18), identification requirements (driver’s license, passport, or birth certificate), and potentially blood tests or proof of divorce if either party was previously married. The cost of a marriage license also varies considerably from state to state, ranging from a few dollars to over a hundred. The waiting period, the time between applying for a marriage license and when it becomes valid, can significantly impact elopement plans. Some states have no waiting period, while others may require several days. Similarly, the requirements for witnesses vary. Some states mandate two witnesses, while others only require one, and a few may not require any at all. It’s crucial to research the specific regulations of the state where you plan to elope to avoid any legal complications and ensure your marriage is legally valid. Before you go, consider this:

• Research the marriage license requirements for the state where you plan to elope.
• Factor in the waiting period.
• Confirm witness requirements.
• Ensure your officiant is authorized to perform marriages in that state.

How can we personalize our elopement to make it feel special?

Personalizing your elopement involves intentionally weaving elements that reflect your unique love story, shared passions, and individual personalities into the day. This transforms a simple exchange of vows into a deeply meaningful and unforgettable experience that is authentically “you.”

Elopements, by their intimate nature, offer unparalleled opportunities for personalization that traditional weddings often lack. Think beyond the generic and consider what truly matters to you as a couple. What inside jokes do you share? What adventures define your relationship? What values are most important to you both? Use these answers to guide your choices. For example, if you bonded over a love for hiking, elope on a scenic mountaintop. If you are both foodies, incorporate a gourmet meal prepared by a private chef or a picnic featuring your favorite treats. If music is integral to your lives, have a musician play your favorite song as you exchange vows. Consider incorporating sentimental details. Wear a piece of jewelry with special significance, write your own vows that speak directly from the heart, or choose a location that holds cherished memories. Including close friends or family remotely via video call can also add a layer of intimacy and connection. The key is to be deliberate and intentional in your choices, focusing on creating an experience that feels authentic, joyful, and reflective of your unique bond. Finally, don’t underestimate the power of small details. From the flowers you choose to the handwritten notes you exchange, these subtle touches can elevate the experience and make it feel incredibly special. Remember, the goal is to create a day that is not only memorable but also a true reflection of your love story.

What’s the best way to tell our families we eloped?

The best way to tell your families you eloped is with love, honesty, and excitement, emphasizing your happiness and the reasons behind your decision. Choose a personal method like a phone call or visit, rather than a text or social media post, to convey your emotions sincerely and allow for direct conversation.

Sharing your elopement news can be a delicate process, so consider your family dynamics and potential reactions. Before announcing anything, decide if you’ll be sharing the news together as a couple or individually. If you anticipate negative reactions, prepare a thoughtful explanation, focusing on the intimacy and personal significance of your choice. Reassure them that your decision wasn’t intended to exclude them, but rather to create a deeply meaningful and private experience for yourselves. Emphasize that your love for them remains unchanged, and that you’re excited to celebrate with them in some way in the future, whether through a post-elopement party or smaller gathering. Timing is also crucial. Consider telling your closest family members before sharing the news more widely. This shows respect and allows them time to process the information. When you do share the news, be prepared for a range of reactions, from joy and excitement to disappointment or even anger. Respond with patience and understanding, reiterating your love and happiness. Offer to answer their questions and validate their feelings, while firmly standing by your decision. Ultimately, the goal is to communicate your joy and love while minimizing hurt feelings and fostering understanding.

How much does it typically cost to elope versus a traditional wedding?

Eloping generally costs significantly less than a traditional wedding. While a traditional wedding in the US can easily average $30,000 (and often much more), an elopement can range from a few hundred dollars to $5,000, depending on the location, scale, and included services.

The dramatic cost difference stems from the reduced guest count and simplified logistics. Traditional weddings involve venue rentals, catering for a large group, extensive floral arrangements, elaborate decorations, and a substantial investment in attire, entertainment, and wedding favors. Elopements, conversely, often forgo these expenses. Instead, couples might prioritize experiences like a romantic getaway, a high-end photographer to capture the moment, or a special dinner. Even with those additions, the overall cost remains far lower. The cost of an elopement is highly variable based on the couple’s choices. A simple elopement at a local courthouse with a witness will be the most budget-friendly option. A more elaborate elopement involving travel to a scenic destination, professional photography, and curated floral arrangements will increase the cost. Ultimately, the level of customization and the experiences the couple chooses to prioritize will determine the final price tag.

Should we hire a photographer for our elopement, and how do we find one?

Absolutely, hiring a photographer for your elopement is highly recommended. Your elopement is a significant life event, and professional photos will serve as lasting memories to share with loved ones who weren’t present and to cherish yourselves. Finding a photographer involves online research, checking portfolios, verifying experience with elopements specifically, and ensuring their style aligns with your vision.

Elopement photography is different from traditional wedding photography. It often involves more hiking, adapting to unpredictable weather, and capturing intimate moments in unconventional locations. Look for photographers who specifically advertise elopement packages or adventure photography. These individuals are typically more comfortable with the spontaneous and intimate nature of an elopement. Scour websites like Instagram, Pinterest, and specialized elopement directories (e.g., Wandering Weddings, The Elopement Co.) using relevant hashtags like #elopementphotographer, #[yourlocation]elopement, or #adventureelopement. When you find potential photographers, carefully review their portfolios to assess their style and quality. Do their images evoke the feeling you want for your elopement? Check their reviews and testimonials to gauge their professionalism and reliability. Once you’ve narrowed down your choices, schedule consultations (usually via video call) to discuss your vision, their packages, and pricing. Don’t hesitate to ask about their experience with similar elopements and any location-specific knowledge they possess. Finally, ensure you have a clear contract outlining services, deliverables, and payment terms before making a final decision.

What are some unique elopement location ideas?

Unique elopement locations range from adventurous natural landscapes to intimate urban settings, focusing on personalized experiences rather than traditional venues. Consider options like a remote mountaintop with stunning vistas, a serene desert oasis under the stars, a historic lighthouse overlooking the ocean, a charming European village, or even a private ceremony within a botanical garden.

Think beyond the typical wedding venues and brainstorm locations that hold special meaning for you and your partner. Are you avid hikers? A national park elopement could be perfect. Do you share a love for art and culture? Perhaps a museum or art gallery after hours would be fitting. The key is to select a location that reflects your personality and creates a memorable backdrop for your vows. Don’t be afraid to get creative and explore unconventional ideas. Elopement locations that are considered unique also often involve an experience. This might be a hot air balloon ride at sunrise, a helicopter tour over a glacier, a sailing adventure on a catamaran, or a private wine tasting at a vineyard. Incorporating an activity allows you to not only exchange vows in a beautiful setting but also create lasting memories of an unforgettable adventure together. Remember to factor in the logistics, such as permits, accessibility, and weather conditions, when planning your elopement in an unconventional location.

How do we handle the marriage license process when eloping?

Getting a marriage license when eloping is crucial and involves researching the specific requirements of the location where you plan to marry. This typically includes applying in person at a county clerk’s office or equivalent, providing necessary documentation like identification and potentially birth certificates, paying a fee, and adhering to any waiting periods or blood test requirements, which vary significantly by jurisdiction.

The marriage license process is not uniform across the United States, or globally. Each state, and even each county within a state, can have slightly different rules regarding application procedures, required paperwork, waiting periods, and the expiration date of the license. For instance, some locations require both partners to be present when applying, while others might allow one partner to apply on behalf of both. Waiting periods can range from zero days to several days, so you need to factor this into your elopement timeline. Similarly, the expiration date can vary from a few days to several months. Because elopements are often planned with shorter notice than traditional weddings, it’s important to prioritize researching these regulations as soon as you decide on a location. Contacting the county clerk’s office directly is the most reliable way to obtain the most accurate and up-to-date information. Confirming what forms of identification are accepted, whether blood tests are required, the accepted forms of payment, and the exact hours of operation of the office will save you from potential delays or complications. Failing to obtain a valid marriage license renders the marriage legally invalid, so careful planning is essential.

And that’s it! Hopefully, you’re feeling inspired and ready to plan your own incredible elopement. Thanks for hanging out with me, and remember, there’s no right or wrong way to say “I do” as long as it’s meaningful to you both. Come back soon for more tips and tricks on making your wedding dreams a reality!